Feeling the Light

Watercolor by NW

“It has been foretold that a new world will emerge on the physical-etheric plane of Earth. The primary substance of the etheric plane is light. The light of the soul, suffused with the light of the spiritual realm, will be a dynamic factor in the life of the New Earth.” (See ‘New Earth’ also New Era/New World)  http://atreeoflight.org/Glossary

I think that was the light I saw as a child when I walked under the trees. It’s hard to say which came first, seeing or feeling it, but I can tell you what I felt when I saw it.

It was helpful that my eyes suddenly went bad that summer I was 10, in my 11th year since 11 is a gateway. It also helped that it wouldn’t be noticed until I went back to school in the fall and couldn’t read the blackboard because then I had to get glasses. Ideally it should happen before you’re aware you’re not seeing properly and can marvel at what you Are seeing.

Like the light moving through the leaves when you walk under the trees on a bright sunny day and look up and see the leaves have turned black. They’re a bit blurry of course, being that your eyesight has changed, but you don’t know that yet. You’re just thinking how lovely it all is with the leaves wafting in the breeze, creating a light-show above, a fluttering light show of light-dark, light-dark in different patterns (with indistinct borders so that all you notice is a fluttering movement of light-dark, light-dark) as you keep walking under the trees, taking it all in with delight. Then you go back to school and have to wear glasses but not all of the time. There is still this other world where you saw a pattern of light above. Where objects and people not only far away but in the near distance blur together and lose those lines that normally separate them.

Then some years later (my 22nd year: 11:11) when I had the unbelievable luck to hear the music of light-dark, light-dark while watching a movie called “The Music Lovers” about a composer, the lines between seeing-feeling and hearing-feeling blurred together too. The music was dizzyingly beautiful and when the camera looked up to show the light coming through the leaves, it spun around so you could feel the spin as the movement turned the light into a dance to the music rising and falling, going faster and faster until it reached a crescendo of unimaginable beauty. And all the while the light was coming through the trees, the horses were galloping, breathing heavily as they pounded the earth. And the people were ecstatic with the movement of the light and the sound it made as the light that moved through the music moved through Them. And as it moved through Them it moved through You as you sat in the dark watching and listening and feeling it all.

When you get home you can put on the record you bought of the soundtrack on your way out of the movie theater to preserve the memory. You can light a candle and play the music and dance to what you’ve seen on the screen so that you’ll remember it in your body as well as your mind. The movement of light with the sound of it too, and how it all came together in a delirium of joy you felt in your bones. You can’t hold onto it. You can’t hold it in. But you can dance. It’s a dance.

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The Path

We know what we know, and I knew it was up in the heavens somewhere. When I was young I’d look up at the moon or the star-filled sky with a silent plea to be taken back. I drew a picture with a needle on black scratchboard, scratching away at the dark for the light to come through and reveal a girl like myself sitting in the window, bathed in moonlight, staring up at the moon, dreaming of the heavens. Then a picture in black pencil on white paper of a girl being taken to a home that was here. It was up a path, an inviting little white house set back among the trees. I didn’t know the way so I had to be taken. Who’s house and who carried her, and how it all come about were questions that didn’t need answering. Dead or unconscious or merely asleep didn’t matter either, for she was being taken up the path towards the dream of home.

One was a dreamer who scratched the darkness away to reveal the light, the other blocked out the white to reveal a story, and both were right, for I needed to dream as much as I needed to believe there was a way home, if only I had someone to take me.

But by the time I was twenty-six and no one showed up I lost hope. I wanted to escape into the darkness of oblivion but it wasn’t in the cards. The void was an illusion. Yet there was a way all the same. It was a grid of squares I had to walk myself. I saw it on the alternating black and white squares of checkered linoleum, each one equal, side by side, the dark and the light. But it was harsh with no leeway, and I kept drifting into gray areas where the light was softer, and if I couldn’t see very well, the damp and the mist were comforting, like walking through the clouds. Then on a day of bright sunshine when it was hot and dry, someone new crossed my path and I told him how I liked the gray areas. ‘There is no gray,’ he said, ‘there is only black and white.’ And before he went away he taught me how to bear it, so that what once seemed far away and out of bounds was actually here, in the light within.

‘How did you get here?’ I was asked.

I walked the grid of time and space and was carried along by a dream. I stopped looking at orbs in the sky and studied the squares of black and white that were here. If science can say that white contains all the colors and black is their absence, and art can say the opposite, I can point to the path that leads to the light of the spirit within.

Definition of Awakening: http://atreeoflight.org/Glossary

“The dawning awareness that a reality exists beyond the physical plane.  The realization of the existence of a higher self, the soul.  As the light of the soul breaks through the barriers of the concrete mind, higher dimensions of life and consciousness are recognized.  On the plane of the soul, the interconnectedness of all life is sensed, giving rise to a desire to serve the greater good.”

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Coming Out From the Shadows

Nancy Wait, Looking at the Self in oil and watercolor

Old-world selfies, new-world interpretation: coming out from the shadows to see myself in the light. A tumultuous eight-year period I can still feel in the pit of my stomach. The one in the hat with a deadness in her eyes was to please my then-husband and I was tired of trying to please someone else again. Number two wears a beret to show she’s an artist, but she’s still afraid to show herself.

Six years later and single again I’ve blossomed into color but paint has become war-paint. Then, having seen the strength of the Self, I can let it go. I can open to the Soul and be in a place where the sun has risen and hair doesn’t matter. It’s in the eyes of the photo I took of my reflection in the mirror when I saw something different and didn’t want to forget that’s who I was.

I am inspired to share these today because tomorrow March 18th 8pm GMT is a zoom called “Living as a Soul as we prepare for the Coming One.” http://atreeoflight.org/Community#Community%20Forum

Under ‘New Era/New World’ in the Glossary it says we have entered “The next stage of planetary evolution in which the consciousness of the human and spiritual realms will blend and fuse through vibratory resonance.” Where “Humanity will enter a new world of light and consciousness in which the good, the true, and the beautiful will flourish under the governance of spiritual laws.” Let it Be. http://atreeoflight.org/Glossary

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A Morning Person

Watercolor by N. Wait 2023

Being that she was a morning person, anywhere from 3am to 5am being the optimum time for mental acuity when the city that never sleeps is quiet at least, she wondered if she could hold onto Time and remain in those pre-dawn hours after the sun came up.

‘What if I stayed in my robe and slippers all day and pretended it was still dark?’ she thought. Would she continue to come up with those insights she had when she first woke up?’

It was worth a try, and she set her internal clock to Night and took a selfie in the mirror to remind herself that she had just woken up no matter what the clock said or what the light told her.

It helped that it was winter and it didn’t get light till around 7am, but it didn’t work. Night was night and day was day and it could only be forgotten by rising in the dark, for the light made everything different.

Still, by getting up early she had plenty of time to make use of those hours fresh from fairyland or dreamland or the Hall of Learning, and not be greedy for more.

The daylight brought messages too. And if they weren’t always as clear amidst daytime distractions, the night would come again. The night when dreams reigned and time disappeared.  

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B is for the boy

B is for the boy in college who thought a date was inviting me up to his attic room and playing a record while he read aloud from the dictionary. He was in love with words. I caught on eventually when I bought the hefty four-inch thick, 2,000-page Funk & Wagnall’s Deluxe Edition, which in those pre-internet days promised a lifetime of meaning. But there were always more questions, so next came stacks of the Alice A. Bailey books for insight into the ‘Ageless Wisdom.’

“Ageless Wisdom” From the Glossary at A Tree of Light: http://atreeoflight.org/Glossary

“Ancient teachings, updated for current times. The essentials contained in this body of higher truth have guided spiritual seekers throughout human history. It encompasses the nature of the cosmos, the laws that govern evolution, and humanity’s role in the evolution of our planet. It is the ‘Golden Thread’ that reveals the deeper meaning of universal truths at the heart of the world’s religions.”

This Glossary has everything from “Age of Light /Age of the Soul” to “World Teacher:  See also Coming One, and Reappearance of the Christ.”

“In the beginning was the Word…” Or an attic room hearing music behind the words…

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Pioneers of the New Earth

P is for Pioneer. A person who does something new to prepare a way for others. They might leave their own country or the place where they’re living to go live somewhere that hasn’t been lived in before, even when it means enduring hardship, because they want to improve their current situation.

N is for New as in New Earth, New Era, New World. (See ‘Glossary’ at A Tree of Light http://atreeoflight.org/Glossary ) It’s… “The next stage of planetary evolution in which the consciousness of the human and spiritual realms will blend and fuse through vibratory resonance. This will produce a new civilization and culture. Humanity will enter a new world of light and consciousness in which the good, the true, and the beautiful will flourish under the governance of spiritual laws.”

How I long for that blending and fusing through vibratory resonance and all the rest of it!

“Pioneers of the New Earth” is the topic at the Community Forum on February 18th at atreeoflight.org/Community You are warmly invited!

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H is for Heart

H is for Heart. O is for Open. F is for Feeling a Frequency, and L is for the Love that opens the Heart to the higher Light. I didn’t learn this with my ABCs. My child-self with her open heart went by instinct. When someone I knew loved me said hurtful things, I could see they were in pain.

I forgot this when I grew up and had my own pain. I forgot how I once felt and knew I was loved no matter the words. For this to change it took someone who was practically a stranger to say he was disappointed in me. No specific reason was given but I cried anyway. And the tears washed away the grief clouding my eyes so that I could call this person the next day and say, ‘Thank you.’

I said thank you because I saw something else was going on here. And I was grateful.

Something else is always going on here. It’s going on now, where we are in the light and where we are not. Because the light is changing. It starts in the feeling heart where I give thanks again, reading the Articles of https://thecomingone.org/

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The Memory of Light

You’re out walking and look up, and the color of the sky stops you in your tracks. You’ve never seen such a light, such a color as this rose-pink before. The sky is aflame with it. You can’t look away. Years pass and still you remember that day, that sky, that light. Then one day you’re listening to a ‘Meditation for the Soul’ at A Tree of Light and they have a name for the rose-pink light. It’s the Christ Consciousness.

Of course! How could it be otherwise. You saw it with your own eyes, but it was the heart that registered it, the soul that aligned with it. The soul that feels the light within. The rose light of pure love filtered through the eyes, known by the heart.

My watercolors will never do it justice, but I can still picture a rose madder sky careening over Brooklyn, splashing down the steps of an old London alley, softening the edges of Manhattan. The color beats through my heart, no matter how the light may change.
Meditations for the Soul. http://atreeoflight.org/Community#MFS

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Giving Thanks

I was leaving for college, literally stepping into the hallway with my American Tourister suitcase, about to ring for the elevator, when my mother stood in the doorway and called out, “Don’t do anything until Thanksgiving!” I fell in love with a boy the first day of Orientation so there went that.

Yet the admonition not to “do anything until Thanksgiving” has reverberated over the years for half a century. It has cropped up again now November is drawing to a close. What do I want to give, and why wait until Thanksgiving. I think it’s to make my giving be my thanks.

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A Burning Heart

Yesterday morning I was impelled to draw the white flag and post it on Facebook with the words: “Q. When does the surrendering ever end? A. Never. How can it when it’s the light moving through you.” Then in the afternoon I took a nap and had a dream that so moved me I couldn’t write about it until today.

Yesterday I went to heaven again. I was napping of course, taking a time-out from the day, drifting off to my favorite place. And you may not believe this, but it was exactly like here. Not in every way of course. I wasn’t there very long and didn’t see very much, and maybe I was only on the outskirts since obviously I hadn’t passed over. But here’s what happened. When I arrived at the reception desk I felt heartburn coming on and asked if they had any Tums. The women behind the desk were very busy and probably knew my heart was only burning with love, so one of them shoved a container of lollipops towards me and said, ‘Have one of those.’ I picked a cherry-flavored one and as soon as I put it in my mouth I forgot about my heartburn. Then I was led through what seemed like a changing room, the kind you’d see at the gym. It was packed with women in various stages of dress and undress, and some were sweaty like they’d just been through a workout. (RIP? No one I saw was even thinking about a rest.) When I got through that part I saw my ‘friends,’ though I didn’t know them in real life, only there. The woman was busy and said she’d see me later, so I went with the man into his ‘office’ type place and he considered what to do with me now that I was here, and suggested I might like to attend a woodworking class. ‘I would, I would!’ I said. And I woke up. I was so disappointed! And I didn’t even know his name, but he looked like Pete Buttigieg whom I’m very fond of and who’s also in charge of Transportation, so it seemed a good choice to think of him as ‘Pete.’ Or even Saint Peter if I want to venture that far. And he was going to send me to a class on woodworking. Which is another way of saying ‘wood works’ or ‘would works’ or ‘I would work.’

I would, I would, I would, I would, I would is a good thing to keep saying because eventually it can turn into I Will. But I think ‘I would’ probably comes first. It’s like how ‘I would if I could,’ becomes ‘I can and I will.’ Woodworks indeed.

If it wasn’t such a long title I think I would change it to ‘Surrender to the Burning Heart.’

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