My Mission Was Memory

Excerpt from The Nancy Who Drew: The Memoir That Solved A Mystery

When I was in my twenties I dreamed I missed the bus. Then, in my thirties, feeling at the helm, I dreamed I was the bus driver. By the time I noticed that bus spelled backwards is sub, I was already in my forties. Because it wasn’t until I was in my forties that I began looking through the mirror differently, seeing things in a different order. And then in my fifties, I dreamed of a bus rolling across a frozen lake. The ice broke. Bus and driver fell through. Bus became sub. Above became below. When I woke up, I realized that I had broken through the ice.   And then I remembered the ice that I hadn’t been able to paint. The ice I used to think had collected around my frozen heart. And I realized that in writing down my story I had broken through the ice of a frozen memory.

What did I know and when did I know it? I think I knew it all along. I think I knew it before I was me. I think my mission was to remember.

And I will remember. I will remember falling into the sea. I will remember the shots. I will remember the crash. The crash will haunt me in dreams. And I will remember the color rose, and roses. And if the memory is frozen, then I will think of frozen roses. I will create whatever I have to that forces my memory. Because my story is one of remembrance. It is what happened to me in order that I would remember.

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About Nancy Wait

Nancy Wait is an artist a memoir writer, author of "The Nancy Who Drew, The Memoir That Solved A Mystery," and a former actress (stage, film and TV) in the UK under the name of Nancie Wait. She once hosted the blog talk radio shows "Art and Ascension" and "Inspirational Storytellers." Her current project is a second memoir, "The Nancy Who Drew the Way Home."
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