Girl Under Water (edited) oil on canvas by Nancy Wait 1987

My story? It’s sad! There were some wins, but the losses outweighed them. Until the end. Except this is only the first book. The second book is about resolving it all. It’s the part where I become a painter and create Girl Under Water. This was the painting that eventually solved the mystery.
The mystery was, why did it have to happen the way that it did?

Just like in most mysteries, there was a crime.
It happened during a time of mass killings, the worst in the history of mankind. World War II. The particular person I am concerned with was just one of millions who were slaughtered, but it doesn’t make it any less sad or tragic, being one among so many.
My book is about solving a mystery. The mystery here is not about who did it. We know who did it. The girl killed during World War II, and the betrayal I went through when I was in my teens. Who did these things was never in doubt. The mystery is not about catching anyone either. No one is going to get caught. The mystery, my mystery, is why. Why did it have to happen?

I’ve heard some New Age people say don’t look for reasons. You’ll get all caught up in your head. Eventually, I solved the mystery with my heart. I found resolution through forgiveness and understanding.

Yet forgiveness is not the end of the story. Because if you believe that you “create your own reality,” why would you create a situation that would cause you harm? That would leave you damaged? Eventually I had to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing to forgive, after all. I had to come into full Soul Consciousness, seeing myself as a Soul. A soul that might choose a certain scenario in order to progress and learn—and eventually share what she had learned.

What I learned was why I chose, as a Soul, the circumstances of my life. And what I want to share is that there is a reason for everything. All we have to do is find it. Or create it. In Book One, “The Memoir That Solved A Mystery,” I lay out the mystery. Now, in Book Two, currently in progress, I’m describing how I got beyond myself. How I let go, and how I let go through Art. Through painting. Expressing feelings I could not express any other way. If the first book was sad, I hope the second will be inspiring.