When I was in my early thirties I had one of the strangest experiences of my life. I’ve never known what to call it, and I’ve hardly ever spoken about it, the woman who suddenly appeared in my room out of nowhere. It was just her face, her head really. Nothing else.
I was alone, sitting on the small couch in my bedroom, and I was in a terrible state, grieving uncontrollably over a relationship that had just ended, feeling that my world had come to an end. I should add that it was so serious, the “the void” of blackness had opened to my inner eye. I had reason to fear I would be sucked into it. It was that bad.
And suddenly she appeared, a vision of other-worldliness. A face of indescribable beauty! Her eyes were green. They were glowing with light! Her head was wrapped in an elaborate white turban. She was only there for a moment, just long enough to say, It was never meant to be. Maybe she didn’t even move her lips, I don’t remember. But those were the words I heard. And then she vanished.
I was immediately calmed. Comforted, would be a better word. The state I was in I don’t think anything else would have calmed me but this vision, or a visitation from another world, telling me it was never meant to be with this man anyway.
Nothing remotely like it has ever occurred before or since. I picked up the pieces and went on with my life as you do, and I rarely thought about her until five or six years ago when I thought I might try to paint that face. The picture was such a disappointment. The colors needed to be pearly and iridescent. They needed to glow, and they were just my regular Windsor Newton oil colors, opaque and dull looking. (The editing app on my iphone has enabled me to enhance the original picture somewhat, giving it a little more of the sense I had of her that night.) But she was not of this world. And there does not exist any physical material with which to duplicate something that does not exist in this dimension.
Not only that, but no matter how hard I tried, she would not look at me in the painting! I happen to be an experienced portrait artist. I know how to paint eyes that not only look at the viewer, but seem to follow you around the room. Not this time. She refused to cooperate. Perhaps she didn’t wish to be painted. Yet if it was to be so, she directed her gaze away from me and there was nothing I could do to correct it.
I put the canvas away, and thoughts of her out of my head. Then a few weeks ago I listened to Paranormal Matters on Blog Talk Radio, the show called, “Portals – Shadow and Light” (LINK) with Jennifer Warters interviewing Sandra Lamb, both of Rainbow Light Foundation. Sandra spoke about the experiences she’s had since early childhood seeing ghosts and beings from other dimensions and how they have affected her. Though my own experience was only a single one and quite different, I thought it would be worthwhile to share.
Obviously, she was some kind of guide. At the time I thought she must be a goddess, and sometimes I still do. And I don’t say this out of any kind of false humility, but I couldn’t help wondering at the time why she had come to me. Who was I? No one. And she seemed important – like a queen, really. Sometimes, when I remembered those eyes like glowing emeralds, I thought of Superman and his kryptonite, and wondered if she was from his planet… We always wish to know more than we’re given. And believe me when I say, her comforting words were enough! Yet still, I wonder…