Who: me and my first husband
When: eons ago
Where: Heathrow Airport
What: a memory sparked by a discussion at A Tree of Light, Community Forum
Why: the latest discussion on “Living Through These Times as a Soul”
We came to London to celebrate our first anniversary, then he had to get back to New York for work and I was staying on with friends for another week or two. I’m waiting with him in the Departure Lounge before he goes through security, and while he calmly reads the newspaper, I’m tortured by fears of his imminent demise.
What if the plane crashes? What if I never see him again? I should have flown back with him so we could die together and I wouldn’t have to go through the pain of his loss. I don’t want to think about life without him. How can he sit there so calmly reading the paper if these are the last moments we will ever spend together?
But I caught myself. I thought wait, if I have a higher self, and by then I knew that I did, didn’t he have one too? A higher self, looking after him. I had to trust it. I couldn’t control his destiny. He was under his own soul guidance. We were together, but we each had our own path, our own destiny. I had to trust that he would be okay, and that whatever happened, I would be okay too. I had to remind myself that it wasn’t up to me. His life would unfold as it was meant to, the same as mine. I had to let go. The letting go was humbling.
His flight back to New York was uneventful, as was mine two weeks later. But that moment at the airport has stayed with me. I have used it as a practice with loved ones ever since, reminding myself that however close we are, they have their own destiny to fulfill. I have to respect that. I also have to respect that whatever is guiding me is guiding them too. We talk of ‘holding space’ for one another, yet this seems more like a giving of space, allowing others to be who they are. I had to connect to my higher self to see it, but that’s one of the things a higher self is for.
Nancy Wait 
To learn more about A Tree of Light, what it is and what it offers, go to atreeoflight.org/community. Apologies for not providing a link—my computer won’t cooperate. Nancy provided a link above. Have a browse and enjoy!
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I LOVE this post. I love that you live happily ever after with your Higher Self; that you know that it is a connection that can neither be broken nor die in a plane crash. Wouldn’t it be divine if everyone on the planet would suddenly wake up and find their way back to the soul/self? I love that A Tree of Light provides a roadmap to help us return home. As much as I would love to grab everyone by the hand and escort them onto the path of enlightenment, I must respect the fact that everyone is on a personal path. Some will get there sooner than others, but we’ll all make it eventually—it’s just a question of when. Meanwhile, I’ll just keep on walking the path and trust that—like everyone else—I’ll get there eventually! Thanks for being a friend and keeping me company along the way! Thank you for another thought-provoking post, my friend. 💕
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Julia, did I say I lived happily ever after with my higher self? 😂 It’s only when I remember! And it can be hard for us ‘feeling-folk’ who tend to ‘worry’ about others, so it’s a lesson that keeps cropping up. But it’s also a practice, meaning it takes practice. It also take courage to allow others to be who they are and not seek to change them. I know exactly what you mean about wanting others to ‘wake-up’ or wake up faster, which is also why I think love is at the bottom of it all — unconditional love. And somehow knowing (hard as it may seem) that on a certain level, everything is perfect just as it is. Thank you for sharing yourself so openly and freely as you do! 😍
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Yes, courage, practice, acceptance of what is and what isn’t. Practice, practice, practice!!!
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Beautiful! So important to trust our higher selves… and those of the ones we love (and everybody else). Thank you for sharing!
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Tough at first, letting go of wanting control – but crazy to think we ever had it in the first place! Thank you for your comment. 😊
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Very true
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