Yesterday morning I was impelled to draw the white flag and post it on Facebook with the words: “Q. When does the surrendering ever end? A. Never. How can it when it’s the light moving through you.” Then in the afternoon I took a nap and had a dream that so moved me I couldn’t write about it until today.
Yesterday I went to heaven again. I was napping of course, taking a time-out from the day, drifting off to my favorite place. And you may not believe this, but it was exactly like here. Not in every way of course. I wasn’t there very long and didn’t see very much, and maybe I was only on the outskirts since obviously I hadn’t passed over. But here’s what happened. When I arrived at the reception desk I felt heartburn coming on and asked if they had any Tums. The women behind the desk were very busy and probably knew my heart was only burning with love, so one of them shoved a container of lollipops towards me and said, ‘Have one of those.’ I picked a cherry-flavored one and as soon as I put it in my mouth I forgot about my heartburn. Then I was led through what seemed like a changing room, the kind you’d see at the gym. It was packed with women in various stages of dress and undress, and some were sweaty like they’d just been through a workout. (RIP? No one I saw was even thinking about a rest.) When I got through that part I saw my ‘friends,’ though I didn’t know them in real life, only there. The woman was busy and said she’d see me later, so I went with the man into his ‘office’ type place and he considered what to do with me now that I was here, and suggested I might like to attend a woodworking class. ‘I would, I would!’ I said. And I woke up. I was so disappointed! And I didn’t even know his name, but he looked like Pete Buttigieg whom I’m very fond of and who’s also in charge of Transportation, so it seemed a good choice to think of him as ‘Pete.’ Or even Saint Peter if I want to venture that far. And he was going to send me to a class on woodworking. Which is another way of saying ‘wood works’ or ‘would works’ or ‘I would work.’
I would, I would, I would, I would, I would is a good thing to keep saying because eventually it can turn into I Will. But I think ‘I would’ probably comes first. It’s like how ‘I would if I could,’ becomes ‘I can and I will.’ Woodworks indeed.
If it wasn’t such a long title I think I would change it to ‘Surrender to the Burning Heart.’